Sometimes, when you have a "best friend" you are blind to their toxic natures. I was best friends with someone for years. It felt good to have a best friend. But I never felt truly happy. When Robert and I got together he would constantly ask me why I was friends with her. I would defend her because I felt like as a best friend, that's what I was supposed to do. That's when I started to wonder, am I protecting her because it's in my job description as best friend, or did I actually want to defend her. Well the time came for me to choose my bridal party, and I was still in the best friend haze, so I asked her to be my Maid of Honor. (I felt like if I didn't it would upset her.) That's when my eyes really opened up! She was so rude that one of bridesmaids actually stepped down because she didn't want to deal with her! As the wedding planning moved forward she really took over, and not like the "I'm the MOH, let me help out and do what I can to make things less stressful for you"; it was more like "I'm the MOH, I have just as much say as the bride, if not more". It honestly made things more stressful for me, but I just wanted to focus on my husband and our wedding. My mom was generous enough to foot enough money for the bar for everyone to get 2-3 drinks, and then it was a cash bar. My "best friend" didn't like that so she LEFT THE WEDDING to go to a liquor store. She missed the first dances, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, and the cake cutting! I ignored her the rest of the night. We "made up" after my honeymoon. Moving forward I became pregnant and she was all like "I'm going to throw you a baby shower and be the godmother". Well it was coming close to the end of my pregnancy and she still hadn't said or done anything about a baby shower, so Robert had I decided to throw one ourselves. She showed up as it was finishing up, even though she said she cleared her day, and then took credit as people told her what a great shower it was! I corrected everyone who said something to me, and told them she had nothing to do with it. A couple days later we had a falling out. She told me she was upset with me and didn't want to throw me a shower because I didn't get her a Christmas gift the previous Christmas, the one where my mom died less than two weeks prior. I told her I didn't really feel like celebrating and the only person I got anything for was Robert. She then told me that I focused too much on my husband and baby and I didn't focus enough on her. The final straw was when she told me that I owed her because she got up and spoke at my mother's funeral. At this point I could see everything Robert had been talking about for the past couple of years. I told her I was done and that she was never a good best friend to me. I'm the type of person who will give all my love to someone and not notice if they don't give any back. I'm more careful with choosing friends now. As soon as I was done being friends with her, I noticed a huge weight and dark cloud had lifted from around me! She stayed lurking on my socials but I just ignored it. When I gave birth she messaged me saying "I'm going to be the bigger person and say have a save birth" I just responded with ok. She tries to send me passive aggressive messages still but I just ignore them and enjoy my life. I have new friends now, I wasn't allowed to have other friends before with her but she could have other friends, and they are amazing and sweet and kind. I feel so free now! I don't use the term "best friend" much now, but its okay. I have so many great friends now who care about me, and I care about them.
- RelatableMommy